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A pat on the back develops character
if administered early enough,
often enough, and low enough. |
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A real Dad looks at
his new child as
and addition not a deduction |
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A wise husband will buy his wife
such fine china that
she won't let him do the dishes |
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| Order this one |
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Adolescence occurs
when children start
bringing up their parents |
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| Order this one |
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After winning an arguement with
his wife, the wisest thing a man
can do is apologize |
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All mothers are
physically handicapped
They only have two hands |
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Spanish Proverb
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Being the hero your son thinks you are
will prevent you from being the fool
your mother-in-law thinks you are |
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Blessed are the young
for they shall inherit the
NATIONAL DEBT |
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Herbert Hoover
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Boy to dad "how much does it cost
to get married?" "I don't know son,
I'm still paying!" |
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Children have become so
expensive that only
the poor can afford them |
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Thomas S Monson
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Marshall McLuhan
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Even when a marriage is made
in heaven the maintenance work
has to be done here on earth |
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Every man needs a wife
Too many things can't
Be blamed on the government |
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| Order this one |
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FATHER - Guy who
now carries photos in his wallet
where his money used to be |
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| Order this one |
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For a happy marriage
remember that in WEDDING
the WE comes before the I |
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| Order this one |
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Heredity is most believable
when your child's
report card is all A's |
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HOME - The place
where we are treated best
and grumble most |
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Homes, like banks, go broke
if you take out
more than you put in |
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| Order this one |
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Human beings are the only
creatures on earth that allow
children to come back home |
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| Order this one |
Bill Cosby
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Husband - How do you expect
me to remember your birthday
When you never look any older? |
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| Order this one |
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Husband who learns to listen
Can stay on speaking terms
indefinitely |
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| Order this one |
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Husbands think
they BOSS the house
but they only HOUSE the BOSS |
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| Order this one |
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If ignorance is bliss
why are there not
more happy teenagers? |
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| Order this one |
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If it weren't for marriage
men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all |
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| Order this one |
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If we want to change
our nation begin by
enlisting mothers |
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| Order this one |
Winston Churchill
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If you don’t want
to wash the dishes
Do them bad the first time |
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| Order this one |
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In winter how do you get
seventy-two inches of son to
shovel two and a half inches of snow? |
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| Order this one |
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Thomas S Monson
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It's not the grandchildren that
make a man feel old, it's the fact
that he's married to a grandmother |
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| Order this one |
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Life is just one fool thing
after another. Love is just
two fool things after each other |
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| Order this one |
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Listen to your Grandpa!
Don't let all his mistales
go to waste! |
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| Order this one |
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Many a man in love
with a dimple makes the mistake
of marrying the whole girl |
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| Order this one |
Stephen Leacock
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Many a man wishes
he were a s smart as
his wife thinks he is |
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| Order this one |
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Money can build a house
but it takes love
to make it a home |
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| Order this one |
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Most kids learn good manners
the hard way
without seeing any |
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| Order this one |
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Never let your mother
brush your hair
when she's mad at your father |
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| Order this one |
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No matter how much a man
criticizes his wife's judgement he never
questions her choice of husband |
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| Order this one |
D.O. Flynn
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Our daughter only cleans her room
When the phone rings
And she CANT FIND IT |
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| Order this one |
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Our language is called
the mother tongue
because father seldom gets to speak |
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| Order this one |
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Parents can tell but
never teach until they
practice what they preach |
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| Order this one |
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Parents with children
on the wrong track
need to provide switching facilities |
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| Order this one |
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Parents wonder why the
streams are bitter when they
themselves have poisoned the fountain |
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| Order this one |
John Locke
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Peace, love and understanding
Requires at least
two television sets |
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| Order this one |
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Lester Klimek
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Perfect love sometimes
does not come 'till
the first grandchild |
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| Order this one |
Saul Bellow
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Some husbands are like blisters
They dont show up
until after the work is done |
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| Order this one |
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Success in marriage is not so
much finding the right person
as being the right person |
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| Order this one |
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The joys of motherhood
are never fully experienced
until all the children are in bed |
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| Order this one |
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The most important thing
a father can do for his children
is love their mother |
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| Order this one |
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The only time a woman
really succeeds in changing
a male is when he's a baby |
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| Order this one |
Jacob Braude
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The reason so many kids
are on the streets at night is
they're afraid to be home alone |
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| Order this one |
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There's as much authority
in families today as ever
only now the children exercise it |
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| Order this one |
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Three stages in a man's life -
He believes in Santa. He doesn't
believe in Santa. He is Santa. |
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| Order this one |
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Train up a child in the
way he should go and walk
there yourself once in a while |
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| Order this one |
Josh Billings
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Two ways to keep a wife happy
1. Let her think she's having her way
2. Let her have it |
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| Order this one |
Lyndon B. Johnson
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Unmarried man - has no buttons
on his shirt
Married man - has no shirt |
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| Order this one |
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Virtues are learned at
Mother's knee - Vices
at some other joint |
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| Order this one |
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Wanted: A husband
who is as patient at home
as he is out fishing |
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| Order this one |
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We interrupt this marriage
to bring you
the hunting season |
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| Order this one |
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We learn from experience.
A man never wakes up his second
baby just to see it smile |
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| Order this one |
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Welcome to Gramma's house
Children spoiled whiel you wait |
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| Order this one |
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You just think
YOUR Grandkids are cuter
than MY grandkids |
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| Order this one |
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