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Age is just mind over matter
If you don't mind
it don't matter |
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Another year older
Another year wiser
One out of two isn't bad |
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Do your giving while
you're living so you're knowing
where it's going |
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Experience is what you've got
when you're too old
to get a job |
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Finally got my head together
Now my bodies falling apart |
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He's so old that
his social security number
is two digits |
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Brian Morgan
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I don't generally feel anything
until noon
then it's time for my nap |
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Bob Hope
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I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter
I go to get something
then wonder what I'm here after |
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Phyllis Diller
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If I don’t hear music and smell flowers
when I wake up
I go ahead and get up |
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If I'd known I'd live this long
I'd have taken
better care of myself |
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If you could sell your experience
for what it cost
you wouldn't need Social Security |
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Ben Bergor
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If you think pushing 40
is hard, wait til
you start dragging it |
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Life begins at fifty, but so does bad
eyesight, arthritis, and the habit
of telling the same story three times |
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Like our shadows,
our wishes lengthen
as our sun declines |
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Edward Young
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Listen to your Grandpa
Don’t let all those years
go to waste |
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Joan Rivers
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Middle age is when your
narrow waist and broad mind
begin to change places |
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Ben Klitzner
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Of all the things that can
happen to a man, old age
is the most unexpected |
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Leon Trotsky
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Old age & Treachery
Will beat out Youth & Skill
Every time |
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Old age is like a plane flying
through a storm. Once you are
aboard there is nothing you can do |
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Golda Meir
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Dennis Wolfberg
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One advantage to being bald
is you can hear
the snowflakes |
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R.G.Daniels
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One of the hardest
decisions in life
is when to start middle age |
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One of the problems with old age
is there's not much
of a future in it |
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One of the worst things
about retirement is you have
to drink coffee on your own time |
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She claims she just turned thirty
It must have been a U-turn |
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Elmer Pasta
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The cost of living is
going up and the chance
of living is going down |
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Flip Wilson
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The future seems
to be getting here
quicker than it used to |
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The Lord never gives you
more than you can handle
unless you die of something |
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The most impressive
example of tolerance is
a golden wedding anniversary |
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The older you get the
longer it takes to get to the
door when opportunity knocks |
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The only thing that
can stop hair from falling
is the floor |
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Will Rogers
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The really freightening thing
about middle age
is that you'll grow out of it |
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Doris Day
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The trouble with life
in the fast lane is you get
to the end too soon |
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There are three signs of
old age - loss of memory
and I forget the other two |
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Red Skelton
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Bernard M. Baruch
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Too old to work, too young to die
get in the camper
and wave bye bye |
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What a married couple
should save for their old age
is each other |
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Tom Lehrer
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When you think you'd like
to be young again just remember
algebra and the new math |
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Worst thing about growing old
is having to listen to a lot of advice
from your children |
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You can live to be 100
if you give up all those things
that make you want to be 100 |
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Woody Allen
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