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A big shot is frequently
an individual of small calibre
and a big bore |
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A bore only stops talking
to see if you're
still listening |
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A conceited person never gets
anywhere because
he thinks he is already there |
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A fool and his money are soon parted
The rest of us wait
until we reach the supermarket |
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A friend is one who goes around
saying nice things about you
behind your back |
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A good friend is like toothpaste
He comes through
In a tight squeeze |
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A good hostess has the ability
to make people feel at home
when thats where she wishes they were |
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A good leader inspires confidence
in him. A great leader
inspires confidence in others. |
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A gossip can give you
all the details
without having any of the facts |
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A gossip compensates for a
limited vocabulary with
a large turnover |
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A man hopes his lean years
are behind him - a woman
that hers are ahead |
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A man who gives in when he is wrong
is wise. A man who gives in
when he is right is married |
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A man who wants
to lead the orchestra
must turn his back to the crowd |
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James Crook
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A really happy man can
enjoy the scenery
while taking a detour |
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A wise man makes his own
decisions; an ignorant man
follows public opinion |
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Chinese proverb
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A woman usually makes
a fool out of a man
with a lot of cooperation |
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Alexander Pope
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Any fool can criticize,
condemn and complain
and most fools do |
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Dale Carnegie
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Anyone can make a fool of himself
but too many people
are abusing the privilege |
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BACHELOR - Gave up chasing girls
Cant find any who will RUN |
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BACHELOR - Guy who
Quit Waiting for the RIGHT GIRL
Making do with the WRONG ONES |
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Blessed is he who can give
without remembering and receive
without forgetting |
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Blowing out another's candle
wont make your's shine brighter
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Dwight Lyman Moody
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Thomas Paine
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Christmas shoppers
are the people
with the brotherly shove |
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Golda Meir
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Eagles soar
but a weasel never gets
sucked into a jet engine |
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Every time you
lend money to a friend
you damage his memory |
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Few people listen to the
voice of experience
They heed only a kick in the pants |
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Few things are harder to
put up with than the annoyance
of a good example |
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Mark Twain
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God made only a few perfect people-
The rest are right-handed! |
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Gossips burn so much energy
at the mouth that there is
none left for the brain |
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Benjamin Franklin
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Boiste
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He's an honest man.
You could shoot craps
with him over the telephone |
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Earl Wilson
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How a man plays the game
shows something of his character
How he loses shows all of it |
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I'm not offended by all the dumb
blond jokes. I know I'm not dumb
and I also know I'm not blond |
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Dolly Parton
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If you don't have a sense of humor
you probably
don't have any sense at all |
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If you want an
accounting of your worth
count your friends |
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Merry Browne
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In this scientific age
the only impossible things
are people |
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It is easy to dodge our responsibilities
but we cannot dodge the consequences
of dodging our responsibilities |
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| Order this one |
Josiah Stamp
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John Leonard
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Will Rogers
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Its what you do when you
have nothing to do
that reveals what you are |
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Lincoln wasn't great
because he was born in a log cabin
but because he got out of it |
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James Truslow Adams
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Many a man met his wife
through a dating service
Her mother! |
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Many people are lonely
because they build walls
instead of bridges |
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| Order this one |
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Many people hate
any change
that doesn't jingle in their pocket |
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Men - buy football tickets three
months early, but Christmas
shopping on Christmas eve |
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| Order this one |
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More people would learn from their
mistakes if they weren't trying so hard
to pin the blame on someone else |
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| Order this one |
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Most men need two women in their
lives - a secretary to take everything
down and a wife to pick everything up |
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| Order this one |
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Most people have minds
like concrete -
mixed up and permanently set |
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| Order this one |
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Nearly all men can stand adversity
but if you want to test
a man's character give him power |
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Abraham Lincoln
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Nice thing about egotists
They don’t talk about other people |
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No one is completely useless
If nothing else he can serve
as a horrible example |
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One good thing about a bore
is he doesn't
talk about other people |
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| Order this one |
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Only one thing worse
than a bore - a bore
with bad breath |
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| Order this one |
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Optimist - Guy who double parks
while his wife steps
into the store for "a moment" |
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| Order this one |
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People singing their
own praises
are usually singing a solo |
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| Order this one |
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Pessimist sees difficulty in
every opportunity, the optimist
opportunity in every difficulty |
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| Order this one |
J.P.Jacks
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Pessismist is someone who feels
bad when he feels good for fear he'll
feel worse when he feels better |
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Thomas Jefferson
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So many people have minds
like blotters - They soak up
everything but they get it all backward |
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Some people are alive
only because it's illegal
to shoot them |
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| Order this one |
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Some people bring happiness
wherever they go
and others when |
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Some people profit by
their experiences, others
never recover from them |
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The average girl prefers beauty to brains
because the average guy
can see better than he can think |
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The average guy is able
to detect a rattle in his car
but not in his head |
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E Arnold
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The best sense of humor
belongs to the fellow
who can laugh at himself |
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| Order this one |
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The biggest fool of all
is the person who refuses
to profit by his mistakes |
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| Order this one |
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The man who lives only for himself
is engaged in
a very small business |
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| Order this one |
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The man who never
makes a mistake
must get tired of doing nothing |
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| Order this one |
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The man whose conscience
never bothers him must
have it pretty well trained |
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| Order this one |
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The measure of a man is not
how many people serve him
but how many people he serves |
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| Order this one |
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The proud man counts
his newspaper clippings
the humble man his blessings |
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| Order this one |
Bishop Fulton J. Sheen
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The superior man thinks
always of virtue
The common man thinks of comfort |
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| Order this one |
Confucius
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The younger generation
isn't so bad it's just that they
have more critics than models |
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| Order this one |
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There is something pathetic
about a man who turns
on the charm - and he has none |
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| Order this one |
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Abraham Lincoln
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When most people put in
their two cents' worth
they aren't overcharging |
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| Order this one |
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When one's temper
gets the best of him
it reveals the worst of him |
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| Order this one |
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YOU are the product
of a million years
of natural selection? |
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| Order this one |
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You can judge a man
as well by his enemies
as by his friends |
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| Order this one |
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