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After years of mocking L.A. for it's
smog, Denver-ites are now coughing
out the other side of their mouths |
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| Order this one |
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France is the only country
where the money falls apart
and you can't tear the toilet paper |
|
| Order this one |
Billy Wilder
|
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Hollywood is a place where
people from Iowa mistake
each other for movie stars |
|
| Order this one |
Fred Allen
|
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How can you expect to govern
a country that has
246 kinds of cheese? |
|
| Order this one |
Charles de Gaulle
|
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I hate Billings, Montana. They have
a fashion show at Sears Roebuck- no
models just open a catalog and point |
|
| Order this one |
Joan Rivers
|
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Karel Van Zeben
|
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In America there are two
classes of travel -
First class and with children |
|
| Order this one |
Robert Benchley
|
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My wife tells me she doesn't
care what I do when I'm away
as long as I don't enjoy it |
|
| Order this one |
Lee Trevino
|
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New Yorkers are so impersonal
If it wasn't for muggings there
wouldn't be any contact at all |
|
| Order this one |
Robert Orben
|
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One certainty when you travel is
the moment you arrive in a foreign
country, the American dollar will drop |
|
| Order this one |
Erma Bombeck
|
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Take a perfect day add
six hours of rain and fog and
you have instant London |
|
| Order this one |
|
|
The letters in Delta of
Delta Airlines stand for
"Dont Expect Luggage To Arrive" |
|
| Order this one |
Adam Christing
|
|
The tanned appearances
of many New Englanders
is not sunburn - it is rust |
|
| Order this one |
|
|
The trouble with all these
other countries is they're all
being run by foreigners |
|
| Order this one |
|
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There's nothing wrong with
Southern California that a rise
in the ocean level wouldn't cure |
|
| Order this one |
Ross Macdonald
|
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This summer one-third of the nation
will be ill-housed, ill-nourished and
ill-clad. They call it a vacation |
|
| Order this one |
Joseph Salak
|
Bob Hope
|
|
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When I first came to this country
I didn't have a nickel in my pocket
Now I have a nickel in my pocket |
|
| Order this one |
Groucho Marx
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